What do the experts say?

[greengeezer]

Recently I have run into a situation that is so complicated to me that I plan to make an appointment with a lawyer. I know this board has experts in banking, finance, and real estate so I thought I would see if any of you might have run across anything similar. This might be a little long so stay with me.

Over half a century ago, my family made a verbal deal to purchase the land where my house is now located. Before formal paperwork could be completed, the owner changed his mine and wanted to keep a small 50 x 100 strip of the property, but he kept the price the same. My family reluctantly agreed.

After I came in possession of the property, I tried through three different owners to buy the small 50ft section to restore the land to its original dimensions.

Here is where it gets complicated. The present owner has agreed to sell me the property, but says she has to wait five years. During the 2016 flooding, her little house was damaged and a few years later, FEMA had some left over recovery money and built her a new house.

Since she still owed on her old house and lot and the land I want, FEMA paid off her mortgages before building her new house. Now she says she has to wait five years (actually three now) before she is allowed to sell any of her property.

I know that her house and lot are on a separate tax ticket from the land I want. Is there any way to split that off or do I have to wait years?

I’m still going to the lawyer, but I’m interested to see what some of you say about what I can expect.

 

[riflearm2]

How does she look and how many years away is she from your age?

 

[greengeezer]

How does she look and how many years away is she from your age?

You’re really helping. She is middle age and dirt poor. The house she lived in wouldn’t even qualify to be called a shack. She can use the money and I would like the land restored to its original footage before I croak.

 

[Rock98Dog]

It really depends on how the FEMA grant works/is written. You should get a copy of her paperwork on it to take to the attorney.

Splitting off the part you want is accomplished easily with a survey and a deed along with required filings. Probably cost around $3,000 to get that done. Just have to make sure the lot size doesn’t run afoul of any zoning/minimum lot size issues.

Your lawyer will cover all that. My only tidbit is if she really can’t sell it yet and you want to lock in down, just lease it with a purchase option that coincides with the date her FEMA restriction is lifted. Write it so all lease payments go toward the purchase price if you exercise your purchase option.

 

[riflearm2]

You’re really helping. She is middle age and dirt poor. The house she lived in wouldn’t even qualify to be called a shack. She can use the money and I would like the land restored to its original footage before I croak.

And this is why you were fired as my relationship advisor.

Geezer! She’s half your age! She is steps away. She wants what you have (security and money). You want what she has (half-age snatch, companionship, foot rubs, maybe some cooking, her property).

How are you missing this? It’s a win-win for all involved.

 

[greengeezer]

My standards may not be quite as high as yours, but the IQ cutoff is around 120 and teeth are a must.

 

[MichiganHerd]

No teeth?

That's an added bonus, particularly if you're the type that only prefers blowjobs

 

[greengeezer]

And this is why you were fired as my relationship advisor.

You are trying to hook me up with a middle age, dirt poor, toothless, high school drop out and you are questioning my relationship advisory skills? I’m a decent looking, educated septuagenarian and I deserve better.

 

[riflearm2]

I’m a decent looking, educated septuagenarian and I deserve better.

I’m sure you do. But until we start hearing stories about Dorothy, Blanche, or Rose knocking on your door to bring you a casserole, we are going to find the next available option for you to get your bunions rubbed.

 

[greengeezer]

Not sure about Dorothy, Blanch, or Rose, but the ladies at Walgreen’s came out and applauded my new vehicle. They liked the color.

 

[riflearm2]

The ladies at Walgreen’s came out and applauded my new vehicle. They liked the color.

That’s really not a good idea, Geezer. In a town the size of yours, there are more stories shared at the grocery store than in your local newspaper.

If you end up socializing with one of those employees, the entire town will know specifics within hours. Geezer has saggy balls? Well, that story will be all over the grocery store. Geezer has a crank that smells like Bengay? The whole store will be calling you “Benny.”

Don’t do it, Geezer.

 

[greengeezer]

If you end up socializing with one of those employees, the entire town will know specifics within hours. Geezer has saggy balls? Well, that story will be all over the grocery store. Geezer has a crank that smells like Bengay?

If you are going to be my relationship advisor, you are going to have to do your homework on small West Virginia towns. Most people are on drugs so gossip doesn’t make sense and any memories usually fade in days if not hours.

Just recently a county deputy’s car drove down our street. Each neighbor had a different story as to why he was there. Personally, I believe he was romantically interested in the little stripper who once lived next door and didn’t realize she had moved.

Oh, just for the record, I use Aleve.

 

[riflearm2]

Just recently a county deputy’s car drove down our street. Each neighbor had a different story as to why he was there. Personally, I believe he was romantically interested in the little stripper who once lived next door and didn’t realize she had moved.

Sounds like you and your neighbors can still remember a story, just like they will about you and Debbie in the bakery department.

Oh, just for the record, I use Aleve.

Which still leaves the saggy balls.

 

[greengeezer]

Which still leaves the saggy balls.

In an area where most men have no balls, that is a plus.