What Would You Do?

[Y.A.G Si Ye Nots]

The team I coach on provides mandatory breakfast/dinner six days a week for all players. As a result, the food tab gets pretty high. A couple of days, the food is provided by the university's food provider (contract restrictions). The other dinners are on a rotating schedule between four good local restaurants. Needless to say, providing food for 100+ players and another 15 coaches runs a pretty good tab, and area restaurants benefit from it.

About one night a week, I skip the team provided dinner and eat at a place I like. After being there a couple of times, I noticed that it doesn't seem to get very much business . . . at least the times I have been there. It's also in a bad location away from campus and tucked away so it can't be seen from the main road. But the food is good. It also has a large upstairs balcony area where tons of tables are arrange overlooking a nice balcony. It would be ideal for dinners on official visits for football weekends. I spoke to the owner and told him about how the team has catered meals numerous times per week. I told him how they also have huge catered meals before each home game for recruits on unofficial visits and numerous weekends during official visits. I gave him the cell number/email of a guy who works in operations for the team who makes the food arrangements.

The next week when I went back to the restaurant, I told him that the previous contact I gave him had left for a job in the NFL, so I gave him the new contact's info. The following week when I went back, the owner welcomed me as I came in the restaurant, shook my hand, and thanked me for the help. He gave the info I provided to his sales guy (a guy he employs to find business for the restaurant and catering side). That guy not only had gotten two orders from the football team in the first two weeks, but he also had now gotten one from the women's basketball team (through the football team) and had a tasting with the band directors to cater food for the band once a week. For the football team, I know the bill is over $1000/dinner.

He asked what I was drinking. I told him that I was just having water. I am not sure if he was offering to buy me a drink or just getting a head start to tell the waitress my order, but I am a little annoyed. Because of me helping the guy, he is easily going to get thousands of dollars per month in new business. I know his profit isn't thousands of dollars, but he will still be alright on it.

Each time I go there, I get the same thing - a $10 fajita. Is it wrong of me to think the guy should have covered my meal tab at least that time, if not every single fvcking time I walk in there? I have been back twice since. Each time, he comes over and shakes my hand when I sit down, but he never offers to pay my tab or buy me a drink.

I'm not going back. Am I wrong in being that bothered by it?

 

[wvkeeper(HN)]

Yes.

While I should comp you for the business, I don't think he owes it to you.

Though he may think because you declined the drink you are not allowed to get comped.

 

[ohio herd]

I have to agree with you on this one. It wouldn't hurt for him to say thanks and by the way, this meal is on the house tonight. I don't know about offering a complementary meal after that, unless he might give you some form of store coupon. I tell you this Yags, if I owned that business I would figure out a way to show my appreciation. That kind of exposure is priceless.

 

[i am herdman]

The team I coach on provides mandatory breakfast/dinner six days a week for all players. As a result, the food tab gets pretty high. A couple of days, the food is provided by the university's food provider (contract restrictions). The other dinners are on a rotating schedule between four good local restaurants. Needless to say, providing food for 100+ players and another 15 coaches runs a pretty good tab, and area restaurants benefit from it.

About one night a week, I skip the team provided dinner and eat at a place I like. After being there a couple of times, I noticed that it doesn't seem to get very much business . . . at least the times I have been there. It's also in a bad location away from campus and tucked away so it can't be seen from the main road. But the food is good. It also has a large upstairs balcony area where tons of tables are arrange overlooking a nice balcony. It would be ideal for dinners on official visits for football weekends. I spoke to the owner and told him about how the team has catered meals numerous times per week. I told him how they also have huge catered meals before each home game for recruits on unofficial visits and numerous weekends during official visits. I gave him the cell number/email of a guy who works in operations for the team who makes the food arrangements.

The next week when I went back to the restaurant, I told him that the previous contact I gave him had left for a job in the NFL, so I gave him the new contact's info. The following week when I went back, the owner welcomed me as I came in the restaurant, shook my hand, and thanked me for the help. He gave the info I provided to his sales guy (a guy he employs to find business for the restaurant and catering side). That guy not only had gotten two orders from the football team in the first two weeks, but he also had now gotten one from the women's basketball team (through the football team) and had a tasting with the band directors to cater food for the band once a week. For the football team, I know the bill is over $1000/dinner.

He asked what I was drinking. I told him that I was just having water. I am not sure if he was offering to buy me a drink or just getting a head start to tell the waitress my order, but I am a little annoyed. Because of me helping the guy, he is easily going to get thousands of dollars per month in new business. I know his profit isn't thousands of dollars, but he will still be alright on it.

Each time I go there, I get the same thing - a $10 fajita. Is it wrong of me to think the guy should have covered my meal tab at least that time, if not every single fvcking time I walk in there? I have been back twice since. Each time, he comes over and shakes my hand when I sit down, but he never offers to pay my tab or buy me a drink.

I'm not going back. Am I wrong in being that bothered by it?

Actually, he could be doing you a favor. If you are at a public institution, you don't want to give an impression, even a false impression, that there may have been any kickback or favors done for him getting that business.

 

[Raoul Duke MU]

I think you shouldn't be bothered by it. A lot of owners would be concerned about breaking some institutional or NCAA rule and losing that business, and it would be awkward to ask you about that. And around here, offering someone a cold one is a good gesture; I am sure he figured out you don't drink when you turned it down, because we drinkers never turn down a free one.

 

[ohio herd]

Actually, he could be doing you a favor. If you are at a public institution, you don't want to give an impression, even a false impression, that there may have been any kickback or favors done for him getting that business.

thats a good point I never thought about. Only Rifle would know what the rules are for something like this. I know many food establishments give discounts and meals etc to police or military so nothing out of the ordinary here if he wanted to say thanks. It's not like Rifle approached the guy and said, " if I throw some business your way I will expect this out of you." I see this as showing appreciation. I mean I was at Texas Roadhouse one night and the Miami of Ohio girls volleyball team came in 10 minutes after me. Somehow they jumped me in the order of being served.We were left waiting a loooooong time to get meals. Mgt compensated my family for the inconvenience by picking up the tab for around $100 that night.

 

[Rock98Dog]

If you're the type of person who only does nice things for people based on what you'll get out of it, then yes, you should be upset.

 

[sistersville]

Yes he should pay for a meal. The guy is not very thoughtful or grateful

 

[MStap]

You should just let it go and enjoy the restaurant if you like eating there. Like most people outside of the coaching world, the owner probably doesn’t know much about the NCAA rules other than they are very strict on compensating athletes. Also, if they were not very busy as you suggested the extra income might just be enough to keep them afloat instead of padding the owners pockets.


My biggest concern, which was previously mentioned, would be how it looks. The perception of expecting monetary benefits for steering money from a publicly funded (assuming) institution isn’t worth the risk over a $10 fajita. While I understand where you are coming from, and you did them a solid, it sounds like you should just let it go.

 

[herdfan429]

Stop feeling like you’re owed something for doing a good deed.

 

[raleighherdfan]

Yes he should pay for a meal. The guy is not very thoughtful or grateful

Wrong. Exactly the opposite.

This thread demonstrates perfectly the selfish entitled attitude of the one initiating this thread.

Who are any of us to suggest this biz owner isn’t “being grateful” for the business from the school? Beyond the fact he personally shook the hand and said “thank you” on every weekly visit... Maybe he’s giving back by supporting the schools teams by buying tickets to games? Maybe he’s “being grateful” by becoming a scholarship/booster club member? Maybe he’s donating to other charities in the community due to the extra income.

So, are we to now believe that “being grateful” is only possible or measured if the person(s) extending the hand of “help” receives something in value from the person being “helped”???

 

[sistersville]

My answer was based on if I had been the owner. I would have given him a free meal.

 

[Dreh_Nagi_HC_IM]

I do things like this all the time, setting people up. I never expect anything back from them, other than it makes me feel good to lend a helping hand. I always believe in karma. Passing it on, and one day, when you're in need, someone will be there for you.

 

[WV-FAN]

go one more time, eat two or three burritos, drink a 6 pack of busch light, and leave him an upper decker on the way out.

 

[raleighherdfan]

I would have given him a free meal.

^^^I’m not disagreeing with this.^^^
I probably would have too. However, simply because the owner did not....doesn’t make him ungrateful or unappreciative as you suggested.

This whole thread speaks more to the character of the one demanding something in return for providing a “help”.

 

[Y.A.G Si Ye Nots]

My biggest concern, which was previously mentioned, would be how it looks. The perception of expecting monetary benefits for steering money from a publicly funded (assuming) institution isn’t worth the risk over a $10 fajita. While I understand where you are coming from, and you did them a solid, it sounds like you should just let it go.

Good thought, but even if at a public, I would not qualify under any of the laws. I am not a decision maker or influencer on who the team uses for food vending. Further, a $10 meal falls well under any state's allowed gift maximum for public officials. The guy also doesn't give a shit about NCAA violations.

If you're the type of person who only does nice things for people based on what you'll get out of it, then yes, you should be upset.

Stop feeling like you’re owed something for doing a good deed.

Wrong. Exactly the opposite.

This thread demonstrates perfectly the selfish entitled attitude of the one initiating this thread.

Who are any of us to suggest this biz owner isn’t “being grateful” for the business from the school? Beyond the fact he personally shook the hand and said “thank you” on every weekly visit... Maybe he’s giving back by supporting the schools teams by buying tickets to games? Maybe he’s “being grateful” by becoming a scholarship/booster club member? Maybe he’s donating to other charities in the community due to the extra income.

So, are we to now believe that “being grateful” is only possible or measured if the person(s) extending the hand of “help” receives something in value from the person being “helped”???

This whole thread speaks more to the character of the one demanding something in return for providing a “help”.

You're all idiots. Nobody is "demanding" anything. Hell, I didn't even suggest "hey, how about picking up my tab tonight." It's a $10 meal which probably cost him $3 in ingredients and employment. For what has already been thousands of dollars in business, one would think a competent businessman would pick up a $3 cost to his business. But I guess that is why his restaurant is empty, in a bad location, and employs a sales guy who never thought about soliciting the giant university three miles away.

I routinely hold doors open for people. I routinely let cars cut in front of me. I don't expect anything from it other than them to show common courtesy with a "thanks." A few days ago, I held the door open for two guys at a gas station. Neither one of them said "thanks." Then, I walked directly to the register. One of the guys I held the door open for grabbed candy near the register then jumped in front of me once I had gotten there even though I just held the door open for him and let him enter the store in front of me.

It's basic tact and common fvcking courtesy. I would never say anything to the owner of the restaurant, but I won't be going back there.

 

[herdfan429]

Good thought, but even if at a public, I would not qualify under any of the laws. I am not a decision maker or influencer on who the team uses for food vending. Further, a $10 meal falls well under any state's allowed gift maximum for public officials. The guy also doesn't give a shit about NCAA violations.









You're all idiots. Nobody is "demanding" anything. Hell, I didn't even suggest "hey, how about picking up my tab tonight." It's a $10 meal which probably cost him $3 in ingredients and employment. For what has already been thousands of dollars in business, one would think a competent businessman would pick up a $3 cost to his business. But I guess that is why his restaurant is empty, in a bad location, and employs a sales guy who never thought about soliciting the giant university three miles away.

I routinely hold doors open for people. I routinely let cars cut in front of me. I don't expect anything from it other than them to show common courtesy with a "thanks." A few days ago, I held the door open for two guys at a gas station. Neither one of them said "thanks." Then, I walked directly to the register. One of the guys I held the door open for grabbed candy near the register then jumped in front of me once I had gotten there even though I just held the door open for him and let him enter the store in front of me.

It's basic tact and common fvcking courtesy. I would never say anything to the owner of the restaurant, but I won't be going back there.

Yet here you are complaining that you thought he he should have picked up your tab or offered you some sort of perk

 

[Y.A.G Si Ye Nots]

Yet here you are complaining that you thought he he should have picked up your tab or offered you some sort of perk

Yes, because I gave the guy a golden platter of business by simply having his sales guy make an easy solicitation.

Here, I will make it simple for you: pretend that there is a parent who spends $500/day to have his 10 year old son get massages. The parent uses different massage therapists each day of the week and isn't loyal to any one in particular.

I notice that you have no business in your massage business. I tell you about the parents and give you the cell number and email to the parent. You then end up not only getting weekly business of $500 from the 10 year old son, but you also end up doing work with the 7 year old son.

I didn't influence the decision at all. I just gave you very easy low-hanging fruit to go get significant business from.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Honest question - is this a place that has ethnic food or is this guy a non-native?

I agree with you that probably most standard in US business culture (and most Western cultures) would be to comp your meals. Is it an "i'm never going back here" offense to not to? Not in my eyes. If this place was good enough and had good enough service prior to this referal, then the only thing that has changed is that you are not getting new free meals then to me that's not enough to lose my business.

However, if he is from a different culture it may be felt to be enough to give you a hand shake and come out from the kitchen to say hello and just check on you as a simple thank you. Though he does technically own a business, he may just be a food/restuarant guy first (ie all he knows is how to run a restaurant and/or cook...he's not one for growing his business or making connections...he's made his restuarant viable via good food and service and the concept of networking (like you probably do every day in your line of work) is really foreign to him).

I don't know, just some stream of consciousness thoughts.

 

[Y.A.G Si Ye Nots]

He is foreign-born (Brazilian, I believe). He still has a fairly strong accent. The restaurant is a Latin/Mexican fusion. He doesn't do shit in the kitchen. He sits at the bar drinking every time I have been there. I have never seen anyone behind the bar or even at the bar other than him.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

He is foreign-born (Brazilian, I believe). He still has a fairly strong accent. The restaurant is a Latin/Mexican fusion. He doesn't do shit in the kitchen. He sits at the bar drinking every time I have been there. I have never seen anyone behind the bar or even at the bar other than him.

I'm certainly no South American business culture expert...but that may explain some of it. Who knows. You know more about this than I do. I agree the NCAA compliance thing is probably unrelated.

We all have our own lines. I think it's perfectly reasonable to see it as odd or even "wrong" to not comp your meals...but for whatever reason in my mind I draw the line at taking it a step further and boycotting his business.

My in laws family is Eastern European - not off the boat or whatever, like three generations in America now...but what is normal to them can seem rude to others. No small talk, no pleasantries, if they don't like something they just say it. Compare that with what you get often in Appalachia and the South and it just doesn't mix sometimes.

 

[herdfan429]

Yes, because I gave the guy a golden platter of business by simply having his sales guy make an easy solicitation.

Here, I will make it simple for you: pretend that there is a parent who spends $500/day to have his 10 year old son get massages. The parent uses different massage therapists each day of the week and isn't loyal to any one in particular.

I notice that you have no business in your massage business. I tell you about the parents and give you the cell number and email to the parent. You then end up not only getting weekly business of $500 from the 10 year old son, but you also end up doing work with the 7 year old son.

I didn't influence the decision at all. I just gave you very easy low-hanging fruit to go get significant business from.

I completely understand the business aspect of it. This is what you are getting called out for.

He asked what I was drinking. I told him that I was just having water. I am not sure if he was offering to buy me a drink or just getting a head start to tell the waitress my order, but I am a little annoyed. Because of me helping the guy, he is easily going to get thousands of dollars per month in new business. I know his profit isn't thousands of dollars, but he will still be alright on it.

Each time I go there, I get the same thing - a $10 fajita. Is it wrong of me to think the guy should have covered my meal tab at least that time, if not every single fvcking time I walk in there? I have been back twice since. Each time, he comes over and shakes my hand when I sit down, but he never offers to pay my tab or buy me a drink.

I'm not going back. Am I wrong in being that bothered by it?

 

[sistersville]

Then maybe running a business has his mind on overload. He is not being non-appreciate but simply has other things to do
. Giving a meal away might be far from a man's mind when in that situation. Make money money .Make money money make money money.Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Tyler will shoot belittling myself rapping Hehe