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So, went into a McDonald's today...

Wherever I live, I am sure you'd travel here if I was selling a $50 cellphone.

"If I were," not "if I was." Learn about the subjunctive mood.

Christ, you are such a simpleton. The thing is, I have no problem with simpletons. It's the simpletons who try to act like they are intelligent, successful, and pompous that make me laugh at them.

Deal with it: you're a hillbilly and will always be a hillbilly. The guys you lunch with are all aware of that and laugh at you behind your back because of it, Mr. Clampett.
 
"If I were," not "if I was." Learn about the subjunctive mood.

Christ, you are such a simpleton. The thing is, I have no problem with simpletons. It's the simpletons who try to act like they are intelligent, successful, and pompous that make me laugh at them.

Deal with it: you're a hillbilly and will always be a hillbilly. The guys you lunch with are all aware of that and laugh at you behind your back because of it, Mr. Clampett.
No one lunches with him cause he doesn’t have any fiends either.
 
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