Time heals all wounds is bunk
- Thread starter GK4Herd
- Start date
GK, I am very sorry to hear about your loss and pain it continues to cause you. I have never experienced a great loss, however I do understand depression and know it is absolutely horrible. Focusing too much on "getting better/felling better" will only add to the stress and emotional, unfortunately there is no easy answer as to how one can release it. As you are aware, Joe Biden has experienced terrible losses, he says things do not get better until after you have gone through each season once.
When it comes to death, it certainly doesn't (and I don't think that phrase was ever meant to be used in this context).
Wednesday was three years since my Dad died - and it just emphasized how quickly time passes. Doesn't seem like three years have passed. But, that is what we do, we accept, we create a new "normal", and we continue to grieve, mourn, and miss.
I'm currently the oldest "cousin" on my Mom's side of the family . . . because the true oldest cousin died in 1997 at 27 years old. My Aunt and Uncle still have that wound and heartbreak, as does my "twin" cousin (I'm older by a few months - he was her brother).
Mom is one of five children (second oldest). Their father (my grandfather) was killed in a plane crash in Logan Co. in May 1977 (I was four and some change). That is a wound and heartbreak that still hurts. I have precious few memories of my grandfather, but the one I distinctly remember was harassing him for weeks to take me fishing down by the creek. The evening before he left (he would die the next morning as it turned out), we went and fished for a couple of hours. He caught a small rainbow trout. That is the last time I ever fished. He missed (and was missed by) a loving wife, five children, and (as it later turned out) six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren, one (my brother) who followed in his airplane piloting footsteps.
If one ever has any closeness and love for another, the death of that person will always leave that impression that is empty when they're gone. No one wants to feel that way, but that is the way most of us are wired.
You have my prayers and sympathy/empathy. No words, anecdotes, or platitudes close the wound and fill the hole - I think we simply learn to ignore the pain that comes with the wound and hole. And, we learn to share each other's burdens. Hang in there. You have a spirit that doesn't let you hang in this neighborhood very long - just grit your teeth while your passing through.
Wednesday was three years since my Dad died - and it just emphasized how quickly time passes. Doesn't seem like three years have passed. But, that is what we do, we accept, we create a new "normal", and we continue to grieve, mourn, and miss.
I'm currently the oldest "cousin" on my Mom's side of the family . . . because the true oldest cousin died in 1997 at 27 years old. My Aunt and Uncle still have that wound and heartbreak, as does my "twin" cousin (I'm older by a few months - he was her brother).
Mom is one of five children (second oldest). Their father (my grandfather) was killed in a plane crash in Logan Co. in May 1977 (I was four and some change). That is a wound and heartbreak that still hurts. I have precious few memories of my grandfather, but the one I distinctly remember was harassing him for weeks to take me fishing down by the creek. The evening before he left (he would die the next morning as it turned out), we went and fished for a couple of hours. He caught a small rainbow trout. That is the last time I ever fished. He missed (and was missed by) a loving wife, five children, and (as it later turned out) six grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren, one (my brother) who followed in his airplane piloting footsteps.
If one ever has any closeness and love for another, the death of that person will always leave that impression that is empty when they're gone. No one wants to feel that way, but that is the way most of us are wired.
You have my prayers and sympathy/empathy. No words, anecdotes, or platitudes close the wound and fill the hole - I think we simply learn to ignore the pain that comes with the wound and hole. And, we learn to share each other's burdens. Hang in there. You have a spirit that doesn't let you hang in this neighborhood very long - just grit your teeth while your passing through.
You know you're welcome -- I like to encourage folks when they are having this type of hollow feeling. Just seems like the right and appropriate thing to do.
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