How about this lesson for first grade?

[Walden Pond]

Remember how they had the helpers? Picked kids to feed the fish or erase the chalkboard, empty the "waste basket" as the nice lady teaching the class called it, etc.?

Well, in this lesson we give 25 of the kids a helper task. They get a full size 3 Musketeers candy bar per week. Or a cigarette, whatever you want to give them. There are 30 kids in the class though. The other 5 do not get helper tasks, but they get their reward anyway.

The teacher tells those 5 in front of the others, "You get to enjoy all the benefits of the clean fish tank, erased chalkboard, emptied waste basket, pencil sharpener, etc. without doing any of the work. AND you still get the candy bar or cigarette.

Good day, class."

What do you think happens to The 5?


Same thing that should be happening to The 80 Million or whatever it is today.

 

[GK4Herd]

Do we get to call the five kids without jobs bums?

 

[Walden Pond]

No name calling in class.

 

[GK4Herd]

Originally posted by Walden Pond:
No name calling in class.

I'm offended.

 

[Walden Pond]

Shhhhhhhhhh, the rest of the class doesn't know that word yet.

Principal Anderson, put this kid in TAG before they find out he's a geek. They'll start bullying him and make him want to join ISIS.

 

[Penn2moss]

More accurate: clean the chalk board and get 6 candy bars. Don't clean it and get 3.

 

[Walden Pond]

Even more accurate: Clean the chalk board, get 6 candy bars, be too exhausted to eat them, be concerned about saving them and worry yourself to death that you will not be able to get any more at all unless you keep cleaning the chalkboard to the satisfaction of the whimsical teacher...

or don't clean it and you're guaranteed 3.

 

[banker6796]

No, give each kid that does a chore 3 bite size bars, then walk around and take one back from each kid, give each of the 5 who did nothing one bar each and then throw the other 20 in the teacher's desk to cover the overhead of administering the program.

 

[Archetype XLIV]