Sorry, Michigan, this isn't about your buddies.
Does anybody know what kind of monkey this is?
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I just had a woman neighbor give me the evil-eye and scold me. I was heading out for the first of my two daily walks, and her son ran up to me and wanted to show me his "animal cards" (what the fvck happened to baseball cards)? He's usually very social with me, so it didn't surprise me. On the front of each card is a picture of an animal while the back gives interesting facts about the animal. He proceeded to go through the first two cards and tell me everything he knew about the animal.
But then this animal popped up as the third card, and I wanted to show the little know-it-all that I am pretty smart, too. So I exclaimed "I know that one! It's a monkey!"
Nope.
He corrected me and told me the name of it: It's a "macaque." The first time he said it, I said "excuse me?" So he said "macaque" again. So out of politeness, not knowing if his mother allows him to talk like that, I said "yeah, what about your cock, kid?" At that point, his mother (who was seated about 10 yards away), jumped up from her chair and sternly told him to get in the garage. She then told me I should be ashamed of myself. I looked at her perplexed and explained that I wasn't the one who was teaching her kid that word. I told her that I hope her daughter doesn't approach me with an animal card of a baby kitten on it, as I now know what type of language she is teaching her kids. Can't wait until I see her husband.
So I skipped my walk to go home and see if what the kid was saying was accurate, and sure enough, it was:
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