Barbie

[riflearm2]

I’m staying at the Ritz Chicago (because ya’ know, rich). On the same block are movie theaters. And in those theaters is a movie that is playing on most screens: Barbie. And in the seats in those theaters is a bunch of 20-35 year old dumb bitches who are dressing in pink everything and pretending they are Barbie. And those dumb bitches in pink are everywhere around the neighborhood.

Listen, bitch: Barbie wasn’t 180 lbs., nor did she have the face of an anteater. Barbie was hot with a kickass body who didn’t wear panties. I don’t dress up as Ron Jeremy or Al Pacino when I watch movies, and you shouldn’t try dressing like the main character either. You’re not her. Stop trying to be like her. Just sit your fatass down in a seat and enjoy the movie.

*for the few of you who don’t live in a podunk, shithole town that actually has some hot slvts, these theaters are full of only females, so the Pee-Wee Herman theater treatment is a great opportunity. I wanted to take a few back to the hotel suite a few doors down, but I’m not sure what the rate is these days for 25 year old orgies. Michigan, how much do you pay the Western Mich girls?

 

[Archetype XLIV]

Headin' in to watch Oppenheimer in IMAX like:

 

[greengeezer]

I remember when my sister got a Barbie doll. I examined it carefully and determined her boobs were too small and she seemed to be standing on her toes.

 

[Rock98Dog]

Herdman possessed rifle’s soul for post.

 

[riflearm2]

This sums it up well. The states that run the country (the states I have lived in) like New York, California, Virginia, and Utah all side with Oppenheimer. The mentally deficient states like West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Georgia, South Carolina . . . they all side with Barbie.

Just what we need: the standard 25 year old, 320 lbs., toothless West Virginia woman running around in a pink mini-skirt with no panties.

 

[i am herdman]

This sums it up well. The states that run the country (the states I have lived in) like New York, California, Virginia, and Utah all side with Oppenheimer. The mentally deficient states like West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Georgia, South Carolina . . . they all side with Barbie.

Just what we need: the standard 25 year old, 320 lbs., toothless West Virginia woman running around in a pink mini-skirt with no panties.

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You are from Appalachia, just like us.

 

[WV-FAN]

Oppenheimer.

the way you talk, oppenheimer is about trannies, lgbtqjpoiqawerf, gun confiscation, feelings, wokeism, etc.

Spoiler

oppenheimer would be the only movie that i've had the desire to go sit in a theatre to watch this year.

 

[Jartard]

This sums it up well. The states that run the country (the states I have lived in) like New York, California, Virginia, and Utah all side with Oppenheimer. The mentally deficient states like West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, Georgia, South Carolina . . . they all side with Barbie.

Just what we need: the standard 25 year old, 320 lbs., toothless West Virginia woman running around in a pink mini-skirt with no panties.

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Well, you did live in WV and by your own accounts have tried to move back. 😂

 

[i am herdman]

Well, you did live in WV and by your own accounts have tried to move back. 😂

Know a guy in Huntington that has some apartments for rent.

 

[riflearm2]

Know a guy in Huntington that has some apartments for rent.

Luxury. Don't forget that he tried passing those off as luxury apartments. "But I removed the shutters and power washed the outside!"

 

[i am herdman]

If they would have made Barbie Dolls like Stretch Armstrong it would have been much better.

 

[MichiganHerd]

I have a G.I. Joe shirt I wear to the farm market on Saturday afternoons. Mexican girls seem to think it's pretty cool. Whenever I wear it elsewhere, the young coeds don't seem to understand. Lots of Barbies at New Holland on Saturday night, including my waitress. Wife caught me staring but she was probably staring at the guy that looked like J. Holmes.

 

[Raoul Duke MU]

the way you talk, oppenheimer is about trannies, lgbtqjpoiqawerf, gun confiscation, feelings, wokeism, etc.

Spoiler

oppenheimer would be the only movie that i've had the desire to go sit in a theatre to watch this year.

Three hours long man...not sure I can do that, my bladder isn't what it used to be. And I hate having to piss in a movie and miss something, much better to watch it at home and hit pause.

 

[i am herdman]

Three hours long man...not sure I can do that, my bladder isn't what it used to be. And I hate having to piss in a movie and miss something, much better to watch it at home and hit pause.

take a piss bottle with you.

 

[HerdandHokies]

Any movie over about 2.5 hours needs an intermission.

 

[WV-FAN]

Three hours long man...not sure I can do that, my bladder isn't what it used to be. And I hate having to piss in a movie and miss something, much better to watch it at home and hit pause.

try going without drinking, alkie.

Spoiler

likely why i'm not going. who the hell wants to sit through 3 hours of a movie without a drink. well, that, and the nearest theatre to me that you can have a drink is over an hour away. screw that.

 

[i am herdman]

try going without drinking, alkie.

Spoiler

likely why i'm not going. who the hell wants to sit through 3 hours of a movie without a drink. well, that, and the nearest theatre to me that you can have a drink is over an hour away. screw that.

take a piss bottle or stop drinking 12 beers right before you go in.

 

[WV-FAN]

take a piss bottle or stop drinking 12 beers right before you go in.

calm down with the piss bottle, peewee herdman. hell, i could drink 12 beers minimum during a 3 hour movie.

 

[i am herdman]

calm down with the piss bottle, peewee herdman. hell, i could drink 12 beers minimum during a 3 hour movie.

without pissing? The older I get, the more I have to piss.

 

[Raoul Duke MU]

try going without drinking, alkie.

Spoiler

likely why i'm not going. who the hell wants to sit through 3 hours of a movie without a drink. well, that, and the nearest theatre to me that you can have a drink is over an hour away. screw that.

Even just a Diet Coke...then sitting in a cold ass theater, yeah you going to have to piss lol.

 

[herdfan06]

Even just a Diet Coke...then sitting in a cold ass theater, yeah you going to have to piss lol.

Ask Lisa Nowak for some pointers.

 

[mlblack16.]

Know a guy in Huntington that has some apartments for rent.

Yeah but he doesn't rent to just anyone. @riflearm2 if you need one of us to be a reference for you, say no more. Appalachian boys look out for each other.

 

[riflearm2]

Yeah but he doesn't rent to just anyone. @riflearm2 if you need one of us to be a reference for you, say no more. Appalachian boys look out for each other.

It’s a shame that the city of Huntington allows slumlords to rent out properties like that with no oversight on cleaning them up. His property drives the value down for neighbors while he lives high on the hog in his $300k house.

 

[i am herdman]

It’s a shame that the city of Huntington allows slumlords to rent out properties like that with no oversight on cleaning them up. His property drives the value down for neighbors while he lives high on the hog in his $300k house.

You sure have got above your raisin', hilljack.

In case you forgot where you came from​

​

hill jack​

1)inbred, backwoods, mullet wearin, coors light drinkin, govt cheese eatin, chat room trolling, c.o.p.s. watchin, 4x4_dually_quad cab_with the calvin sticker drivin, old_couch_on_the_porch sittin, bowlin alley hangin, cow shit flingin, grade repeatin, gots me a double wide, waste of human space/space of human waste.

 

[riflearm2]

I’m on yet another first class flight:



This is different from the first class flight that I was on yesterday:



I woke up at 3:30 am at the Ritz Carlton yesterday. It took me a good 20 seconds to figure out what city I was in. I can’t believe they only charged me $700 for that room considering they put me in the corner suite.


I woke up at California house #1 today, and I couldn’t remember what the house looked like . . . between my properties and the five star hotels that I constantly stay at, it’s hard to remember where I am and what each looks like.

Then, I had to deal with my Ambassador pandering to me today. What really got them riled up was that I changed my Baltimore stay from three nights to one night and sent them my two night reservation at Four Seasons.

 

[herdfan429]

I’m on yet another first class flight:

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This is different from the first class flight that I was on yesterday:

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I woke up at 3:30 am at the Ritz Carlton yesterday. It took me a good 20 seconds to figure out what city I was in. I can’t believe they only charged me $700 for that room considering they put me in the corner suite.


I woke up at California house #1 today, and I couldn’t remember what the house looked like . . . between my properties and the five star hotels that I constantly stay at, it’s hard to remember where I am and what each looks like.

Then, I had to deal with my Ambassador pandering to me today. What really got them riled up was that I changed my Baltimore stay from three nights to one night and sent them my two night reservation at Four Seasons.

View embedded media

 

[i am herdman]

I’m on yet another first class flight:

View embedded media

This is different from the first class flight that I was on yesterday:

View embedded media

I woke up at 3:30 am at the Ritz Carlton yesterday. It took me a good 20 seconds to figure out what city I was in. I can’t believe they only charged me $700 for that room considering they put me in the corner suite.


I woke up at California house #1 today, and I couldn’t remember what the house looked like . . . between my properties and the five star hotels that I constantly stay at, it’s hard to remember where I am and what each looks like.

Then, I had to deal with my Ambassador pandering to me today. What really got them riled up was that I changed my Baltimore stay from three nights to one night and sent them my two night reservation at Four Seasons.

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you do any fishin'?

 

[riflearm2]

Pedophiliac body-rubber, this is my thread. If you're going to post in it, pathetic attempts at giffes will not be tolerated. If you don't have good humor, which you don't, you should sit this one out.

you do any fishin'?

Eh, went deep sea fishing at Cape Cod. The boat operator wanted me to bait my own line. 'scuse me? I paid you $800, Skipper. Get your hands dirty. Then, when he cracked the neck of the small shark that I caught and threw it back in the ocean, I had enough.

Went out on the Chesapeake years ago, but the boat guy woudn't allow weed to be smoked on his boat. He was a chain-smoking mother fvcker, but marijuana was "from the devil." So we told him to head back to shore.

 

[Jartard]

Pedophiliac body-rubber, this is my thread. If you're going to post in it, pathetic attempts at giffes will not be tolerated. If you don't have good humor, which you don't, you should sit this one out.



Eh, went deep sea fishing at Cape Cod. The boat operator wanted me to bait my own line. 'scuse me? I paid you $800, Skipper. Get your hands dirty. Then, when he cracked the neck of the small shark that I caught and threw it back in the ocean, I had enough.

Went out on the Chesapeake years ago, but the boat guy woudn't allow weed to be smoked on his boat. He was a chain-smoking mother fvcker, but marijuana was "from the devil." So we told him to head back to shore.

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I feel like this photo needs an @murox critique.

 

[i am herdman]

Pedophiliac body-rubber, this is my thread. If you're going to post in it, pathetic attempts at giffes will not be tolerated. If you don't have good humor, which you don't, you should sit this one out.



Eh, went deep sea fishing at Cape Cod. The boat operator wanted me to bait my own line. 'scuse me? I paid you $800, Skipper. Get your hands dirty. Then, when he cracked the neck of the small shark that I caught and threw it back in the ocean, I had enough.

Went out on the Chesapeake years ago, but the boat guy woudn't allow weed to be smoked on his boat. He was a chain-smoking mother fvcker, but marijuana was "from the devil." So we told him to head back to shore.

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I didn't you smoked weed. He might have been worried about the Coast Guard or law getting him.

I think they first guy was messing with you. hahahahah

 

[riflearm2]

I didn't you smoked weed.

I don't. The others do.

I think they first guy was messing with you. hahahahah

He wasn't. He said that the sharks ruin his lines and cause too many problems. I know that they don't have bones, but their backbone is cartilage, and the guy would snap the head to the side where it would make a cracking noise and toss the shark back in. It appeared quite brutal.

 

[greengeezer]

The one deep sea fishing trip I took, the little cabin boy baited the hooks, reeked in the line, and removed the fish. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t receive a participation trophy. I didn’t deserve anything else because all I did for hours was stand there.