I'm not embarrassed. Not scared.
Due to sensory overload issues, I avoid them as much as I can. People project an overwhelming physical presence, too loud, too bright, all have a distinct smell (not just blacks and foreigners, even whites), they all move their eyes, they breathe, blink, move their mouths, etc. The curse is that I pick it all up at once and it's just overwhelming to process.
The same curse allows me to have evidently some kind of memory that most people don't. I took its only redeeming quality and did the best I could with it in the face of all that hell.
Much to my chagrin, I'm the one who has scared others away. Outbursts, cussing, my face resembling a serial killer. That's what happens when all that shit I just talked about gets too much to stand. Freaks people out on the other end of it. They don't come back.