Kids sports/coach question/patriarchy

[-CarlHungus-]

Ok you degenerates, I need some input. I'll probably just ignore it but I figured I'd post since there are a lot of parents on here.

My son is on a regular (not travel/all star) old community rec league soccer team U10. his coach I think is really a good coach; she's actually a former D1 soccer player.

however, some of the boys on the team are being really disrespectful and goofing off too much. They don't show her respect and a few of them ruin practices for the kids who want to learn and play hard.

I'm kind of just a helper at practices. I don't coach on the sideline. There is no other official coach, just her. Some of the boys get dropped off at practice, some have parents there watching. Even with their parents there watching I'm surprised at how poorly behaved they are. One at least has an excuse I guess (his mom told us he's "already heavily medicated"). THe rest I think are just acting up.

I was about THIS CLOSE to pulling the kids in the huddle and chewing their assess about showing her respect and listening. However, I was worried that since I'm not the coach she would be offended and view it as me man-splaining or "showing her" how to coach or discipline.

This coach has forgotten more about soccer than I will ever know. But it's really hard for me to sit there and watch these kids act like that.

Any tips?

 

[MichiganHerd]

By chance, do either of these D1 players happen to be the coach? If so, I don't mind offering a tip.

 

[Kate Branson]

The woman flat out is not a coach.

All coaching is is having the presence and the voice to take control, to take command. Very few men even have it. It's clear this woman doesn't.

A woman could have it, but this one clearly does not. We had an old bitch bus driver woman, now she took command. The kids all knew to shut the hell up or she would burn you in a bitchy hellish rage.

This is all coaching and leadership is. Your physical ability and willingness to take damn charge.

She doesn't have it. You're probably not even allowed to have it anymore. Nick Saban is the last coach. After him, there are no more coaches. Just figureheads posing in the position, all to be pummeled down by the players.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Well this went about as I had expected…

 

[extragreen]

I was about THIS CLOSE to pulling the kids in the huddle and chewing their assess about showing her respect and listening. However, I was worried that since I'm not the coach she would be offended and view it as me man-splaining or "showing her" how to coach or discipline.

In your position, I'd just ask the actual coach if it would be OK to address the lack of respect the kids are showing. If it's not taken care of, even the good kids will lose respect for the coach. If she says OK, the huddle you mentioned is exactly what I'd have done if I were coach. Until that's done, no coaching is actually happening, it has evolved into babysitting.

 

[herdfan429]

Do it kids need to learn early to respect their coaches male or female

 

[GK4Herd]

I think the best way is to have the discussion with the coach in private first. Say something like…”I’m very impressed with your knowledge of the game. I think a few of the kids are not getting the full benefit of your knowledge because of their attitude in practice. If you feel like it isn’t overstepping my position as assistant coach/helper, I’d love to address the issue with the kids. If you’re not comfortable with that that’s fine also.“

My guess is the person is young and probably is afraid that it will upset the parents if she makes an issue of it or comes down on the kids with the issue. You can be a great teaching coach and struggle gaining control of a group because you allow a few kids to act out. She’s a volunteer coach and might even like the dynamics of her doing the teaching and you providing the discipline.

 

[i am herdman]

Here is how you do it. You ask her if she needs help. Talk her into it. Then you become an assistant coach.

Good cop and bad cop then.

Let her do the technical part and strategy. Then you be the disciplinarian. She may actually want your help doing that part.

Run their asses off every time they do it. You be the enforcer. Ask her to be the assistant and to help out.

She needs to gain control of the practices and the team or they will end up having a shitty season no matter how much she knows the game.

That will take care of it.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

She’s probably my age (40). Her kid is a good kid .

Thanks all for the input. I’ll report back if the misbehaving continues. Or you’ll see me canceled on Twitter when it goes viral when I blow my lid…

 

[MichiganHerd]

Thing is, if you discipline someone else's kids in little league type stuff, you should anticipate some of the Karen or Ken type parents to want to fight. I used to love getting into those fights with the parents when I coached, but I was in my prime 40 years ago. I was only afraid of one parent back then, and it was a woman who was built like a linebacker and had the face of a bulldog. To this day I can still hear her voice cussing up a storm during the games at Charley McCoy field. I wanted to slap her, but knew she'd kill me if she got a hold of me.

 

[herdfan06]

I was only afraid of one parent back then, and it was a woman who was built like a linebacker and had the face of a bulldog. To this day I can still hear her voice cussing up a storm during the games at Charley McCoy field. I wanted to slap her, but knew she'd kill me if she got a hold of me.

Holy cow, you coached Ducky?

 

[-CarlHungus-]

I’ve coached baseball and basketball. I feel I can interact with the kids and parents well. Just a dicey situation not being the coach and wanting to be respectful to the coach. The gender dynamic adds another variable.

I don’t worry about offending the parents. I want to not offend the coach.

 

[riflearm2]

By chance, do either of these D1 players happen to be the coach? If so, I don't mind offering a tip.

I’m on a flight to Vegas right now and got excited looking at those two prospects, but by looking at the current roster, it appears that either that’s an outdated picture or the Vegas sun is far stronger than I thought.

 

[big_country90]

By chance, do either of these D1 players happen to be the coach? If so, I don't mind offering a tip.

Good lord...


Anyway, I firmly believe that masculinity and being tough on kids is good for them. Carl, if you are there to help, perhaps you could mention to the coach that you’ll do everything you can to keep the kids in line while she instructs them. I want to lick those girls in the picture. If your coach is like me, she’ll take all the help she can get.

One thing that won me over with several of my baseball parents was my discipline. I mean those girls in the picture are smokin’...geez. During our first practice, I made 4 of my players run because they kept talking and wouldn’t listen. Then, after a 10+ run victory, my assistant (a female) was so mad at their conduct in the dugout that she made them run, in front of the entire crowd, as opposed to celebrating. Discipline is key in coaching, and those blonds are ridiculously hot.

 

[GK4Herd]

Good lord...


Anyway, I firmly believe that masculinity and being tough on kids is good for them. Carl, if you are there to help, perhaps you could mention to the coach that you’ll do everything you can to keep the kids in line while she instructs them. I want to lick those girls in the picture. If your coach is like me, she’ll take all the help she can get.

One thing that won me over with several of my baseball parents was my discipline. I mean those girls in the picture are smokin’...geez. During our first practice, I made 4 of my players run because they kept talking and wouldn’t listen. Then, after a 10+ run victory, my assistant (a female) was so mad at their conduct in the dugout that she made them run, in front of the entire crowd, as opposed to celebrating. Discipline is key in coaching, and those blonds are ridiculously hot.

Duel plot device…I like it.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

This whole thread is very on brand for Pullman. Nuggets of good content interspersed with ridiculousness. Good work, all.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Update:

So I arrived a little late at practice last night so I didn't get to talk to the coach pre practice. I just jumped in and helped.

Kids were overall better behaved but then one kid literally spit on another kid when they were playing/goofing off in line waiting to do a drill. Coach didn't see it but I saw it and went ballistic.

After ward coach said "thanks for your help, I can't see all of them and I appreciate the enforcement."

So I'm just taking that as a license to bust some asses.

 

[Kate Branson]

You went ballistic?

Details...

 

[-CarlHungus-]

You went ballistic?

Details...

Well that's really just internet message board hyperbole. For me (I'm very mild mannered), it was aggressive.

But I did call him out, yell at him, made him run. Then the coach after practice told him and his dad (his dad just drops him off at practice...which may be correlated to his behavior) that if she sees it again he's not playing the next game.

 

[i am herdman]

Update:

So I arrived a little late at practice last night so I didn't get to talk to the coach pre practice. I just jumped in and helped.

Kids were overall better behaved but then one kid literally spit on another kid when they were playing/goofing off in line waiting to do a drill. Coach didn't see it but I saw it and went ballistic.

After ward coach said "thanks for your help, I can't see all of them and I appreciate the enforcement."

So I'm just taking that as a license to bust some asses.

Damn, my advice was right.

Coach Hungus, sometimes you will have to be hard on them. This is about life lessons more than soccer.

Keep it up.

 

[i am herdman]

You went ballistic?

Details...

Here is audio of Hungus. He was pretty mild. But, NOT Safe for work. This has leaked out. Great job Coach.

 

[big_country90]

You went ballistic?

Details...

Carl went about as ballistic as Ned Flanders.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Carl went about as ballistic as Ned Flanders.

accurate.