Girl Advice, Part 1

[riflearm2]

Since 2016, I have been banging a medical doctor (I’ve referenced her before on here over the years). Once or twice per year, one of us ends up in the other’s city or we coincidentally both end up in the same city while traveling and meet up.

She is a really cool girl - never any drama, always even-keeled, and pleasant to be around. She carries her weight, meaning she puts just as much effort into driving to my hotel as I do to her. She mentioned having visited me when I lived in Austin years ago - I don’t recall her visiting, but I am sure that she made that drive for me. Even better, she is Asian, which means she gives you a warm towel and a great hour-long massage after. Just a very cool girl who is great at a few certain skills with a ridiculous body.

I went to her luxury townhouse for the first time last night (we usually just meet at whatever hotel one of us is at). Another enjoyable night.

So what’s the problem? I don’t know her name. I’ve been associating with this girl for seven years, and I have no idea what her name is . . . not even a hint.

Her Instagram name, which at one point years ago I thought was her actual name, is a name of a movie character. I called her that name years ago, and she laughed at me. She said “You do realize that’s not my name and is just the lead character in [fill in whatever movie she referenced], right?” And I was too uncomfortable to say “no, I don’t know your name,” so I said “of course I know that’s not your name. I just mess with you and call you that because of Instagram.” Well, that wasn’t completely true.

One of her sisters is tagged in her Instagram pictures, but her sister has been married for 10+ years, and I can’t find any surname info for her on her account (and her husband doesn’t appear to be on social media). So when she gave me her address to go to last night, I was finally relieved! I will just reverse search the address, and I will know her name! Nope. Didn’t work. It looks like she is removed from all of those sites, and the county assessor’s page has the property under a company name. The company name on the state’s business registry led to no registered agent name.

While she went to clean up last night, I thought I had my chance: I saw her purse sitting there, and I thought I could quickly find her license/credit card in there, and I would be good. But then I started thinking, “what happens if she walks out of the bathroom right when I am rummaging through her purse”? I realized that I could just say that I was looking to see if she had a piece of gum. But by the time I finally talked myself into doing that, I heard her start to come back to the living room.

I couldn’t find any mail anywhere. I am an expert at finding things online but struck out, and now I still don’t know her name.

Do I just ride it out another seven years and never know her name? It’s too far past a reasonable point to ask her now, right? What am I supposed to do? Man, I really need Geezer for these type of things.

 

[GeauxHerd]

Since 2016, I have been banging a medical doctor (I’ve referenced her before on here over the years). Once or twice per year, one of us ends up in the other’s city or we coincidentally both end up in the same city while traveling and meet up.

She is a really cool girl - never any drama, always even-keeled, and pleasant to be around. She carries her weight, meaning she puts just as much effort into driving to my hotel as I do to her. She mentioned having visited me when I lived in Austin years ago - I don’t recall her visiting, but I am sure that she made that drive for me. Even better, she is Asian, which means she gives you a warm towel and a great hour-long massage after. Just a very cool girl who is great at a few certain skills with a ridiculous body.

I went to her luxury townhouse for the first time last night (we usually just meet at whatever hotel one of us is at). Another enjoyable night.

So what’s the problem? I don’t know her name. I’ve been associating with this girl for seven years, and I have no idea what her name is . . . not even a hint.

Her Instagram name, which at one point years ago I thought was her actual name, is a name of a movie character. I called her that name years ago, and she laughed at me. She said “You do realize that’s not my name and is just the lead character in [fill in whatever movie she referenced], right?” And I was too uncomfortable to say “no, I don’t know your name,” so I said “of course I know that’s not your name. I just mess with you and call you that because of Instagram.” Well, that wasn’t completely true.

One of her sisters is tagged in her Instagram pictures, but her sister has been married for 10+ years, and I can’t find any surname info for her on her account (and her husband doesn’t appear to be on social media). So when she gave me her address to go to last night, I was finally relieved! I will just reverse search the address, and I will know her name! Nope. Didn’t work. It looks like she is removed from all of those sites, and the county assessor’s page has the property under a company name. The company name on the state’s business registry led to no registered agent name.

While she went to clean up last night, I thought I had my chance: I saw her purse sitting there, and I thought I could quickly find her license/credit card in there, and I would be good. But then I started thinking, “what happens if she walks out of the bathroom right when I am rummaging through her purse”? I realized that I could just say that I was looking to see if she had a piece of gum. But by the time I finally talked myself into doing that, I heard her start to come back to the living room.

I couldn’t find any mail anywhere. I am an expert at finding things online but struck out, and now I still don’t know her name.

Do I just ride it out another seven years and never know her name? It’s too far past a reasonable point to ask her now, right? What am I supposed to do? Man, I really need Geezer for these type of things.

Jerry forgets GF name

Try this trick from Seinfeld. Get her in a position where she has to introduce herself

 

[ThunderCat98]

Just call her "sweetheart," "baby," or "sugartits" and don't worry about it.

 

[HerdandHokies]

Find out where she practices and her specialty and look her up there.

 

[GeauxHerd]

Just call her "sweetheart," "baby," or "sugartits" and don't worry about it.

That’s Dr. Sugar tits to you

 

[herdfan06]

Did you look up the deed? This is separate from the assessor's office.
Does she give her name on her voicemail?
Spoof a known number and say "Hey Jessica (or whatever name). You may wish to use a voice changer
Maybe her medical uniform has her name. Ask her to play doctor.
Ask to look at her work ID. Make something up super nerdy like you want to see if they have a new security chip that is being implemented in certain hospitals.

 

[GeauxHerd]

Did you look up the deed? This is separate from the assessor's office.
Does she give her name on her voicemail?
Spoof a known number and say "Hey Jessica (or whatever name). You may wish to use a voice changer
Maybe her medical uniform has her name. Ask her to play doctor.
Ask to look at her work ID. Make something up super nerdy like you want to see if they have a new security chip that is being implemented in certain hospitals.

Unfortunately her ID says Dr Sugar Tits

 

[Jartard]

You’ll probably find out when they serve you with the stalking order of protection. 🤣

 

[marshallisqbu]

I bet it’s Dr Ho.

 

[i am herdman]

She might be a Chinese spy.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Find out where she practices and her specialty and look her up there.

This is the way.

if you know city she practices in, specialty, and one other piece of info (primary hospital, maybe where she went to med school or undergrad) then you're golden. If she's in a rare specialty then just city and specialty may be enough. I assume you've already tried that though.

Or just google "asain american doctor hot" and I'm sure you'll find her. Post your results here for research purposes.

 

[i am herdman]

Here is the real advice.

1)Since you are business man. Tell her you are working on these new business cards and going back and forth with a marketing guy or graphic designer. Show her your current card. Then, say do you have one so I can compare? Like baby, you work at a hospital and I know they are all about branding and uniformity. I want to show my marketing guy and give him some ideas.

2)This is a tricky one. Could backfire. Take her out to eat. Forget your wallet(not really). She has to pay, right? She puts down a credit card. Sneak a peak. But, just hope she doesn't go by a middle name or nickname. Like a card says Elizabeth and she goes by Beth and only her mom uses the real name.

3)GO out to eat, warning could backfire. Go to the bathroom. Have the waiter suprise her with a drink or desert or something while you are out. Tell the waiter to take this to Gloria or Betsy(or some name you know can't be hers). Tell, him to get her name. Going to have to pay the dude. If she says something, say oh that guy is full of shit.

4)Tell her you are going to make a donation to some charity in her name. SOmething a chick would dig Get an envelope. Fill in the name of the charity. But, leave the return address blank. Walk off and act like yoiu have a call or some distraction and say oh shit, can you fill that out and put you rerurn addrss on there. I want them to recognize you.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Do you communicate with her on instragram only? Is ther ea messenger as part of that app? I don't have instragram so I'm unfamiliar.

 

[Jartard]

Maybe ask her if her parents chose her name for a certain reason or that you aren’t positive of the correct spelling of her name.

 

[herdfan06]

Here is the real advice.

1)Since you are business man. Tell her you are working on these new business cards and going back and forth with a marketing guy or graphic designer. Show her your current card. Then, say do you have one so I can compare? Like baby, you work at a hospital and I know they are all about branding and uniformity. I want to show my marketing guy and give him some ideas.

2)This is a tricky one. Could backfire. Take her out to eat. Forget your wallet(not really). She has to pay, right? She puts down a credit card. Sneak a peak. But, just hope she doesn't go by a middle name or nickname. Like a card says Elizabeth and she goes by Beth and only her mom uses the real name.

3)GO out to eat, warning could backfire. Go to the bathroom. Have the waiter suprise her with a drink or desert or something while you are out. Tell the waiter to take this to Gloria or Betsy(or some name you know can't be hers). Tell, him to get her name. Going to have to pay the dude. If she says something, say oh that guy is full of shit.

4)Tell her you are going to make a donation to some charity in her name. SOmething a chick would dig Get an envelope. Fill in the name of the charity. But, leave the return address blank. Walk off and act like yoiu have a call or some distraction and say oh shit, can you fill that out and put you rerurn addrss on there. I want them to recognize you.

Just take her to Starbucks.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

Maybe ask her if her parents chose her name for a certain reason or that you aren’t positive of the correct spelling of her name.

spoiler - her name is Amy.

"Oh, ok, just wanted to make sure it wasn't Aimee."

 

[big_country90]

Like others have said, finding her place of employment will answer your question. Her practice should have a “meet the staff” directory, which will have her name, face, and bio right there.

The problem with her being Asian is that her real name might be “Nyugen” or “Xoxchitl” and she may go by a made-up name anyway, like “Charlie” does at the Chinese buffet in Teays Valley. But that’s the route I would take, if you haven’t already.

 

[big_country90]

spoiler - her name is Amy.

"Oh, ok, just wanted to make sure it wasn't Aimee."

I know an Asian doctor with that exact first name.

 

[ThunderCat98]

Just take her to Starbucks.

That's genius.

 

[ThunderCat98]

Like others have said, finding her place of employment will answer your question. Her practice should have a “meet the staff” directory, which will have her name, face, and bio right there.

But what if she goes by Dr. Sugartits on there, too?

 

[big_country90]

But what if she goes by Dr. Sugartits on there, too?

Then you just roll with it or ask for the proper pronunciation.

 

[MichiganHerd]

There's a 50% chance her name is either Mei or Linh. Out of the eight chinkettes at work, four were named Mei or Linh. When you take the chance of speaking her name, do so with your native Appalachian accent, as she likely won't be able to understand what you said.

 

[herdfan06]

That's genius.

I am pretty sure I read that somewhere.

 

[Archetype XLIV]

Not buying this story. OP been doxxing people on this site for over 20 years and is claiming to not be able to doxx his own gf.

Don't fall for this one.

 

[riflearm2]

That's genius.

Ingenious, Tier Three. The word you're looking for is "ingenious."

I appreciate the effort from some of you, especially Doc Cunnilingus and HerrMan, but you have to remember that I only see her once or twice a year. I rarely converse with her, and when we do, it's always quick messages or compliments via Instagram. I can't just randomly take her to Starbucks or randomly ask her where she works (I do know that it's not at a hospital).

Not buying this story. OP been doxxing people on this site for over 20 years and is claiming to not be able to doxx his own gf.

Don't fall for this one.

All of my stories are entirely true.

 

[ThunderCat98]

Ingenious, Tier Three. The word you're looking for is "ingenious."

It could be either in that context, dumbass. Genius means "brilliant or smart." Ingenious means "clever or innovative." Keep trying though. I notice you respond to a disproportionate number of my posts, even on the main board. Glad I can entertain you.

 

[Archetype XLIV]

All of my stories are entirely true.

I never doubted the content of the story, just the notion you don't know her name. Total BS.

 

[MichiganHerd]

Did she have a rice salad with eel and squid, and a low calorie ginger dressing?

 

[big_country90]

I remember rifle telling a similar story a few years ago about dating a girl but not knowing her name. Is this the same chick, @riflearm2, or has this happened more than once?

 

[Archetype XLIV]

I remember rifle telling a similar story a few years ago about dating a girl but not knowing her name. Is this the same chick, @riflearm2, or has this happened more than once?

It's just lazy trolling. There's absolutely no way that the subject problem of not knowing her name is the case.

He never forgets anything either because he's the pettiest human being alive. This whole thread is bullshit. Yes, the GF is real, but that's where it ends. Stop falling for such nonsense.

 

[riflearm2]

It's just lazy trolling. There's absolutely no way that the subject problem of not knowing her name is the case.

He never forgets anything either because he's the pettiest human being alive. This whole thread is bullshit. Yes, the GF is real, but that's where it ends. Stop falling for such nonsense.

I understand that you are still jaded from me continuing to be the highest selling poster on this board. I empathize with you that your "bro memes" don't fill the seats like my threads do. But constantly trying to claim that my stories are bogus is the most pathetic attempt that jealous people like you and Middle Class Murox do.

If your claim were true, then explain how I made this post yesterday morning, yet the previous night I was using both my mobile and my MacBook to search the address in Zillow, Google, and using two different county assessor's websites. Was my plan so in-depth that I decided to spend time researching this information a day prior to my post just in case a moron claimed I was lying?

I'm always the winner. You're always the loser. The faster you can accept that fact, the sooner you will stop looking like a jealous little bitch with your posts:

 

[riflearm2]

It could be either in that context, dumbass. Genius means "brilliant or smart." Ingenious means "clever or innovative."

No, it couldn’t, moron. “Genius” is a noun. You using it as an adjective is bastardizing the word. Further, the definition you’re using relates to a person. Your use of it wasn’t relating to a person, but rather, an idea, so you’re doubly-bastardizing it. Your incorrect use of it would then allow somebody to be called a “genius genius.” See how stupid that (and you) are?

Just because a million people do it incorrectly doesn’t make it correct or proper. Large pollution of a word doesn’t suddenly make the incorrect usage correct.

But don’t take my word for it. Here ya’ go:

I notice you respond to a disproportionate number of my posts, even on the main board. Glad I can entertain you.

If that’s the case, it’s only because you make more errors than a normal moron. But show us all of those disproportionate responses to you.

 

[Archetype XLIV]

I understand that you are still jaded from me continuing to be the highest selling poster on this board. I empathize with you that your "bro memes" don't fill the seats like my threads do. But constantly trying to claim that my stories are bogus is the most pathetic attempt that jealous people like you and Middle Class Murox do.

If your claim were true, then explain how I made this post yesterday morning, yet the previous night I was using both my mobile and my MacBook to search the address in Zillow, Google, and using two different county assessor's websites. Was my plan so in-depth that I decided to spend time researching this information a day prior to my post just in case a moron claimed I was lying?

I'm always the winner. You're always the loser. The faster you can accept that fact, the sooner you will stop looking like a jealous little bitch with your posts:

View embedded media

View embedded media

I can't tell anything from these screenshots. You're a weird dude with weird hobbies. In fact, I have no stake in whether or not your memory is bad. However, considering your body of work, this entire story is merely for dialogue and nothing more, even with these screenshots.

In all truth, I don't care about any of this.

If you're wanting to prove something, I asked for a video last year of you playing trumpet and you still haven't provided when you said you would.

That's what I'm here for. If it's not a trumpet I don't wanna hear about it.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

I can't tell anything from these screenshots. You're a weird dude with weird hobbies. In fact, I have no stake in whether or not your memory is bad. However, considering your body of work, this entire story is merely for dialogue and nothing more, even with these screenshots.

In all truth, I don't care about any of this.

If you're wanting to prove something, I asked for a video last year of you playing trumpet and you still haven't provided when you said you would.

That's what I'm here for. If it's not a trumpet I don't wanna hear about it.

I need rifle playing Edwin Diaz out on my timeline.

 

[Archetype XLIV]

I need rifle playing Edwin Diaz out on my timeline.

View embedded media

I don't care if it's Mary Had a Little Lamb, I just need proof he can play the trumpet.

 

[-CarlHungus-]

I don't care if it's Mary Had a Little Lamb, I just need proof he can play the trumpet.

B-A-G-A-B-B-B-A-A-A-G-G-G

I was all county 5th grade recorder.

 

[riflearm2]

I can't tell anything from these screenshots.

That’s because you’re a moron, so let me dumb it down for you:

Those screenshots show me searching the county assessor’s page trying to find her name by using the address. It also shows me using other methods to try and find her name from her address. It shows that it was done the night before I posted this story, which was also the same night she gave me her address.
In other words, it corroborates my story which you claimed was bogus, moron.

L. You're a weird dude with weird hobbies.

I like working out, biking, hiking, traveling to international locations, watching sports, and going to the beach.

You like playing with your 1.5 lbs. dog, posting weekly pictures highlighting your wife’s decorations, and being disingenuous with what you post on social media just because work colleagues and superiors are friends with you on there.

And I’m the one with weird hobbies?

If you're wanting to prove something, I asked for a video last year of you playing trumpet and you still haven't provided when you said you would.

I said that I would dig some up from when i was in elementary school or middle school. Why is it so hard for you to believe that I can play the trumpet and that I was all county in chorus as a middle schooler? At all county, I made out with my GF at the time. A girl who went to my mom’s school told her about it. I ended up banging that girl, who is now also a doctor, in high school.

Just because you’ve had an insulated life doesn’t mean that we all have.

That's what I'm here for. If it's not a trumpet I don't wanna hear about it.

No, no, no, moron. That’s not how it works. You can’t claim that I’m lying, have proof presented showing your accusation is wrong, then try claiming you don’t care and trying to ask for proof of something else you accused me of doing.

 

[Archetype XLIV]

Why is it so hard for you to believe that I can play the trumpet and that I was all county in chorus as a middle schooler?

UPDATE: if it's not you playing the trumpet AND singing, I don't wanna hear about it.

 

[riflearm2]

UPDATE: if it's not you playing the trumpet AND singing, I don't wanna hear about it.

Translation:

Blowhard claims I’m lying. I show proof that I’m not lying. Blowhard acts like the proof doesn’t show anything. Blowhard then claims he doesn’t care and questions the honesty about another claim. Blowhard then projects his weird hobby insecurities onto me.

 

[Archetype XLIV]

Translation:

Blowhard claims I’m lying. I show proof that I’m not lying. Blowhard acts like the proof doesn’t show anything. Blowhard then claims he doesn’t care and questions the honesty about another claim. Blowhard then projects his weird hobby insecurities onto me.

The only blowharding you should be posting is you into that trumpet, Wynton Marsalis.